


Silence.

by Words_Words_Words



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Post-War, Reference to death, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sadness, he's a real life SNAFU, kind of, silence is a silent killer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 18:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3906433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Words_Words_Words/pseuds/Words_Words_Words
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snafu feels worthless after coming home from the war. </p><p>There's nothing left but him and his silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence.

Silence. That's all that's ever around him now. Everyone in the USMC thought that he was some sort of wide-eyed, blood-crazed psychopath that was always in the midst of a fight or some shit like that. But, really, silence was the only friend he has ever had. It was always there and never left him, through all of his ups and downs, and it even stayed there and took care of him when his parents deemed him a hopeless case. It was always his one comfort in this big, bad world, but the war changed all of that. Before any of that shit, the silence used to be his one comfort, his one escape from everything. But now, after the war, the silence wasn't anywhere near as peaceful as it once was. Silence only ever brought death with it during the war, there were never any happy silences. Noise was always there, constant yelling and screaming and laughter and sounds that simply let people know that you were _alive._ But silence was the only noise that ever passed through a dead man's lips. Now, instead of silence being a relaxing treat, it was a noise all in itself.

You can never escape the war, not truly. He would constantly have nightmares about the things he had seen back on those islands. Nightmares about everything. About the Japs he killed and all the good men that were left waiting for the day they would finally be able to see home again. Sometimes the dead would speak to him through these nightmares. They would ask "Snafu, when do I get to see home again? When do I get to see my beautiful wife and my loving children? When do I finally get to show my Ma that I was right, and that I would make it out of the war and find my way back to her?". They would constantly ask, "Snafu, why did I have to die? Why couldn't you have died in my place? I have a family, a life, and all you have is your silence."

It was a question that Snafu asked of himself daily. Why _did_ he survive? How did he survive when all of the other men that would _actually be missed_ didn't? Snafu would never get the answer to his lingering question. He locked himself away in his house, only ever letting himself out when he had to go to work or get food to survive. When he wasn't out, he would just sit in his room and bask in the dangerous silence. Snafu knew he was going crazy, but he wasn't willing to talk to anyone about anything. He never once brought up the war in front of his workmates, he hardly ever even spoke to them anyway. He'd rather suffer in silence than to live happily in a world that he knew he didn't belong to. And he knew he didn't belong to this world. This world was meant for happy people, talkative people, people in love, _people_. Snafu wasn't a person. He was a mute nothing. He _was_ Snafu. Situation Normal, All Fucked Up. Yeah, that was Snafu alright. He wasn't good enough for love, the one thing that he longed for. He wasn't good enough for love, and he wasn't good enough for Eugene.

Eugene was the only exception to everything. He never thought that Snafu was crazy or insane or _not human_. Eugene was there for everything, and never once left his side. He always made Snafu feel like he was wanted and that he wasn't, in fact, a hopeless case. He loved Eugene, and maybe that was why it was so hard to simply _get off the train_. Snafu knew that he could never give Eugene the goodbye he deserved, and he could never put into words how much he meant to him. He wanted to stay on the train with him forever and just travel onto some far away country where no one knew who they were or what they had done, and no one would ever bother them. But he also knew that he could never give Eugene the life he deserved. The love that he deserved. Because love was all that it came down to, wasn't it? You could live a life of poverty and wake up every morning with a smile on your face if you simply had _love._

Snafu never left any contact details with Eugene before he left, and Eugene never bothered to give Snafu his, either. So when the doorbell rang and Snafu opened the door to see Eugene standing there, suitcases on the ground and his body dripping with rain from the thunderstorm outside, Snafu thought he was dreaming. Eugene didn't say anything, he just looked at Snafu with those lost eyes. Those lost and saddened eyes that Snafu only ever saw one glimpse of when Eugene told him that his dog had died. Snafu ushered him inside, not really giving a damn why he's here, and made him a hot coffee. Snafu handed him the steaming hot cup and noticed, with a sly smile, that Eugene took a flask from his pocket and topped the cup up with alcohol. Eugene told him that he couldn't handle it at home. He couldn't handle the constant nagging to get a job like he had just been sitting at home his whole life and hadn't _fucking killed Japs for the sake of his country._ He couldn't handle the long nights of silence and being alone. He couldn't handle the lack of sound at night, with no mortars or snoring or Snafu's body pressed up against his as he slept. He couldn't understand why he had made it back when all the others didn't. He couldn't understand why they had families and children to go back to, but God found it better to send Eugene home when all he had was his silence. He couldn't understand why God let back someone so useless. He felt the only person that he was good at being was someone that listened to the silence.

And Snafu smiled ironically down at his best friend, at the man he was in love with, and couldn't help but press a small kiss to his lips. He whispered, "You are not useless, Eugene. You are here for more than to listen to the silence. You are here for me. We can listen to the silence together." And Eugene smiled back and pulled Snafu into another kiss. A longer, prolonged kiss that was filled with burning passion and longing and _happiness._

And maybe the silence wasn't so bad after all.

 


End file.
